I made eye contact with some guy at Spaceland

I am a sad, sad little woman. I can't believe I'm actually going to devote a blog entry to how I made eye contact with some dude. I didn't sleep with, make out with or even talk to this guy. JUST eye contact. The Huffington Post certainly isn't going to be calling my ass up anytime soon but maybe you'll keep reading and I guess that's enough. (Photo is an example of how my evening did not end.)

I have come to understand that for some girls making eye contact with a guy they find attractive comes very easily. Well, that is a very nice thing for those girls. This particular girl finds it very difficult. So, in an effort to be more alluring or for starters just plain fucking approachable I have decided to play a game with myself. I call it, "Make Eye Contact with a Guy Like a Normal Human Being". Here's what I have to do: Make subtle repeated eye contact with one attractive fellow over the course of an evening and see what happens. Also, I'm not allowed to be creepy.

I do that thing we all do where you scan a room and decide what person of the opposite sex you would make babies with if you were the last two people on earth. I'm pretty sure I've been doing this since the first day of kindergarten. As I was scanning the dusty interior of Spaceland I thought I recognized some guy I hooked up with once when I was sloppy, yucky, gross drunk. YIKES. Luckily it wasn't him, it was just a guy who looked like him. He wasn't as cute as the guy I hooked up with but he was the best thing Spaceland had going for it. I spotted some other guy who was handsome, put together and probably in his 40s. I aborted mission once I saw he was wearing a wedding ring. His wife put it there to make me feel bad. Not cute.

I decided to stand by the bar where my options were best laid out. After graciously giving every guy at Spaceland the opportunity to sweep me off of my feet I decided that I should pick the guy I found most attractive-slash-interesting to me. He was sitting at a pub table off to the side of the stage drinking a beer. I stared at him in short increments before he noticed me. Then when he did notice me, I looked away. REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT. We made eye contact a few different times. Each time lasted slightly, just slightly longer. This was working out just great for me. I was actually doing it. I was being all bold and shit. I deserved a steak for what was transpiring. Here's how I decided my exercise was successful. I caught him looking at me when I wasn't looking at him! BUSTED! Anywhichway, he was with a girl. They didn't look like they were too involved. If I had to bet they were probably on a second date. I couldn't possibly expect him to come over and ask me out. He was already out. He's a good guy. He probably likes good music and flea markets same as me. WHAT WE DO KNOW: He likes Neil Hamburger just like me. He took some girl to see Neil Hamburger and I hope she appreciated the gesture.