Exceptions -
a) Your brother/best friend is crashing on your couch for a very short period of time. Very short. Help him get it together.
b) You refer to your tenant as a roommate to be nice. But we know what's really up. He pays you rent and you pay your mortage.
c) You're 22 and finding your way.
d) You're saving money to get your own place.
2. Your best friend is a straight girl. Suspicious.
3. You ask me out by way of text. Gross. Go away.
4. You have bad credit. Get it together. Gross.
5. You bum cigarettes.
I could never seriously date a smoker. I've casually dated casual smokers. Watching a guy bum a cigarette is so emasculating. I can't explain it. It just is. Buy your own cigarettes on your own time. Stock up at Cosco if you have to. If you're going to smoke try and channel Paul.
6. You have a Reservoir Dogs poster up on your wall.7. You call weed "grass".
8. You call condoms "rubbers". No thanks, Grandpa.
9. You don't vote.
10. You put down people who have a lot of money. You're insecure and obvious. Work harder.
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